blahhhh
Current mood: blah to peaceful

I haven't posted anything latley becuase there hasn't been any really great things to post about.  What does it mean when everytime you talk to someone you hear that something horrible is going on?  Within the last few weeks everyone I am supper close to has had some kind of tramatic thing happen in their life.  I am talking everything from attempted suicide to major diagnoises of diseases.  There is always bad things going on, but when major things happen so close to home it is hard to deal with.  My brother is going through some life changing medical problems, my two best friends in the whole world have family members with life threating things going on, my favorite resident at the home past away ( I miss Mr. Porter), and the list goes on.  You add to that that I am still not overseas, I live in a town where I know no one outside of work, and my bestfriend live days away from me and you get a pretty tough time.  I don't want to complain (although I still am), I just wanted to let everyone know what is going on and why I am MIA.  Even though all of this is going on I have still been fine.  But, today it started getting to me.  I think that I am just now realizing what is going on.  I don't want to get down, but the weight of it all is starting to pull me there.  I just have to remember Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowldege Him and He will direct your path."  I know he is in charge.  If I can just keep my eyes on that I will be fine.  In fact just quoting that scripture helped lighten the mood already. Wow, the power of the Word of God.  Oh, did I mention that I am leading the youth group at my church now?  If you ever want to see God move and feel complely useless try doing that.  He is doing amazing things, but it is a trust tester.  I guess that is enough ramblings for now.  "Peace"

I know I have been posting a lot of song lyrics lately.  But, the Lord is really speaking to me through songs. (Go figure)  I wanted to post these lyrics becuase this has been on my heart lately.  This song describes where my heart is.  I also watned to post what the writer/singer wrote about it.  If you haven't heard it, reading it is not enough.  It has an amazing orchestra sound in the back ground.  I had an amazing worship time on the way to work earlier this week with this song.  I love the LORD!

(Natalie Grant, Bernie Herms, Stephanie Lewis)

Our culture is obsessed with reality makeover shows and the outward appearance of beauty. But before we makeover the external, it's so much more important to look at what's happening in our spirits. At the time I wrote this song, I was desperate for a spiritual makeover, and so this is my way of expressing that need—it's my heartfelt prayer.

I've been silent instead of speaking up
Gave my advice instead of giving love
I have been unfair, faithless and unkind
I have shut my eyes just so I would stay blind
It's not what I'm meant to do
Cause I wanna honor You

Make me over, make me new
Make me a mirror, a reflection of You
Take me all apart, take me to Your heart
And pull me closer
Oh Jesus, make me over

Take away the pride that whispers in the dark
Take the stone out of the middle of my heart
Hidden underneath my insecurities
Is the servant that You've destined me to be
Day after precious day
I get in my own way

So make me over, make me new
Make me a mirror, a reflection of You
Take me all apart, take me to Your heart
And pull me closer
Sweet Savior, make me over

I am only made of Your imagining
I'm dust and clay on the wind
Wash me in the river of Your sacrifice
Until I'm changed, purified

Take me all apart, take me to Your heart
And pull me closer
My Jesus, make me over

Make me over
Make me over
Oh, make me over, Jesus